It's not me, it's you
Posted on August 06 2016
Note: This article was first published in The Philippine Star Supreme on July 18, 2015
Dear Tita Witty,
My first boyfriend and I got back together after three years of being separated. I thought love would be lovelier the second time around, but it clearly wasn’t the case.
He’s been cold and distant. Lumala pa nung kinailangan niyang mag OJT sa US. It had only been four months since we got back together, and the OJT is for three months. Days would pass that he wouldn’t talk to me; sometimes even a week! What’s even worse, nalalagay ako sa seenzone. Despite all that, I trusted and tried to understand him. Ang ‘di ko gets, ‘pag nakikipag-cool off ako, ayaw naman at hindi raw niya kaya.
Around two weeks before he was supposed to come home, sobrang labo na talaga. I gave him the cold shoulder for a week so he’d come to his senses. Tapos biglang nag-message na wala na talaga, sa kanya raw may mali at ginamitan ako ng “It’s not you, it’s me.” line. I didn’t even know he had come home.
What do you think happened? Is it really possible to wake up one day and not feel any love?
I don’t know how to move on and I don’t understand why this happened to us. L
What should I do, Tita?
Para talaga sa mga taong kagaya mo ang column na ‘to. Sadyang pagdating sa pag-ibig ay marami tayong hindi nakikita kahit nasa harap na natin.
What I’m about to say will hurt. Ready ka na? May tissue ka dyan at wala namang kutsilyo o gunting na malapit sa’yo? Okay, here goes:
There’s someone else. That’s what happened. May iba na siya bago pa siya umalis, at habang naka-seenzone ka ay ‘yun ang ka-chat at video call niya. No, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided he doesn’t love you anymore.
The reason why he wouldn’t let you go when you were trying to “cool off” (may I just say, lakas maka-high school ng term na ‘yun) with him is because he wasn’t sure yet if it would work out with the other girl. Syempre, kailangan niya ng reserba, ‘di ba? When he came home, malamang nagkita sila, at nung sure na siya na pwede sila, that’s when he had the balls to break up with you.
What should you do? Forget him. Easier said than done, I know. At bago ‘yun, iiyak ka muna nang maraming marami, magagalit sa kanya via drunk chat/text/call tapos ikaw din ang magso-sorry, hanggang sa i-block ka na niya at magpalit siya ng number, tapos iiyak ka ulit nang maraming marami
You might not see it now, but trust me, you’ll get past this. One day it will just come to you that he wasn’t the last thing you thought of before going to sleep last night, and he wasn’t the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning. Tapos maiisip mo: OMG, ang pangit niya pala. Ewww.